How to select a wife for yourself?

Till now and still marriages have been a occasion for me to dance eat, and drink lavishly and not to think about anything … but few days back I got a chance to be privy to the process of selection a bride for my friend. My friend (Raghaw) has been looking for her match for quite a time now and now the pressure was mounting on him to zero in on lucky one. Then this Sunday he went to see her could-be partner and came back and then there was a discussion with other friend (Abhishek Dubey, all credit to him for enlightening us). We went to our favorite evening spot and got our regular cans and then this discussion followed and I would present a summary of it for the future grooms looking for there dream girl. Some things might look like Marwadi Baniya but they are not intended to be so. First advise for the would be grooms is to get a nice little designer notebook and note down all the parameters that would be a crucial for deciding the bride.

1. Whether she should be working or not? (Why not!! Even Ambanis need working ones otherwise you will have to watch saas-bahu serials with them .. terror. Plan about it in advance that would you be able to fulfill your future needs with your own paycheck or would you need additional one. Would it be okay with you if she ever rises above you in the hierarchy if you are from same field. Due to this reason it is considered to be a thumb rule that working partners should be from different fields of work)

2. How is her attitude? (You will need 2-3 meetings to decide on this like whether she walks behind you or in front of you, she can eat what you like or not she is of progressive nature or not. Look for what perceptible changes are there in her behavior from first to third meeting and then decide for yourself.)

3. She is good looking or not? (Here is the catch!! Most of the Indians boys always select in the way that what would his friends think of his wife as whether she is good looking or not!! Never do this even in your dreams. Always think whether you like her not and in most cases if she is good looking than you then there is a case to be taken forward. It is you who are to live with her not your friends!!)

4. Her Family and back ground? (I would advise that one should always pay a visit to her home alongwith the family for by spending 2-3 hours over there you can get a clue that she has been brought up in what kind of atmosphere and whether that is acceptable to you. For example If a girl is working in IT sector in Bangalore then there are good chances that her living style over in Bangalore can be different from her hometown say Bhatinda and in long run how she lived and did in Bhatinda will come out. Have a good interaction with her family members also.)

5. Whether she can fit in various stages of your life? (What’s that!!? Let me explain it to you. We can divide the life of groom into three stages. (18-24) when the feeling of dying for each other and I LOVE YOU is paramount. In today’s world these 6 years are missing because marriage happens at the age of 24-25. Next stage is from (24-34) when the sexual pleasure with your wife is of paramount importance for you. Then comes phase of (34-May You Live Long) when one looks for spiritual peace from his partner as well as her help for building a happy home. Now before deciding always look that you are at what phase of life and whether your would be partner can give you a sense of fulfillment in all the stages. You can change the period or span of all the stages according to your condition but be true to yourself in the assessment.

6. How much dowry can her family give or you want? (Com’on man it is a moral crime. I can’t help you in it.)

All these things were discussed to find his bride so I just jotted it down. My friend has almost found his ideal partner and most probably in december I would have another chance to dance, eat and drink all the way.